Expat-Repat : After 6 years in Germany, Qualities I Want To Take Home

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I can’t believe the time has come for us to pack up our lives and move home to New York.

When we moved to Germany in 2015 - the first few weeks we had some ‘culture shock’ moments: “How do I get the grocery cart unlocked??” “why are there so many different ways to throw out garbage??” “Why does EVERYONE drive a hatchback car"??”. My Dad mentioned on a call “You should write a blog post about it! Because soon it will all feel normal.” And I am so glad I did, because it is a wonderful and timeless snapshot of our ‘deer in headlights’ moments. (blog posts here and here).

Now, only a day before the movers come to pack up our life in Nuremberg, Germany - I wanted to list down some qualities that I love about German life that I hope to take home with us (and not forget once we’ve re-settled into American life).

Please keep in mind, I am not saying the American way is all wrong. I am only saying, we can always learn from each other, and here are some of my favorites i’ve learned:


 

MINIMALISM

This is something I have really grown to LOVE about Germany. You do not feel the need to buy buy buy. It really allows you to enjoy life when you’re not stressed about ‘quickly running to the store’.

For example: during the Christmas season, the focus is on quality family time (and lets be honest - the Christmas markets!) The focus is NOT on feeling the need to buy gifts for everyone you know. You’re able to spend your time enjoying the holiday season, enjoying time with family, enjoying traditions - without the unnecessary stress of having a million presents under the tree (which lets be real, the kids wont remember all the gifts anyway)!

Another example: For kids birthdays, it is typical that you will get ONE small gift from each person. (a small book or a nice piece of clothing, etc). Not piles of gifts from people. And honestly? It is more enjoyable. I can remember exactly what every person that came to Charlottes 1st birthday got for her - because each was simple and thoughtful.

Note to my future American self: Stop buying unnecessary things. Set boundaries for gifts at holidays & raise my children to understand that love is not shown through gifts.

 

RECYCLING / NO SINGLE USE PLASTIC

Ok, i’ll admit it - when we first moved here I thought - “we need 4 different types of garbage bags AND we need to recycle glass in 3 separate colorway bins?” And now? I love it.

And the no single use plastic?? Amazing. After my first year in Germany I came back to the US and it hit me - I cannot believe how much single use plastic we use in the US! Where do we think it all goes?? Birthday parties with 30+ plastic plates, forks, knives, spoons, cups that will be used once then thrown away (not even recycled). It broke my heart.

Something i’ll always remember here in Germany - every Thanksgiving & Christmas, our fellow expat friends (shout out to Kerry & Chris) would host a party (pre covid). They would have about 40+ people over their home for a buffet dinner -and the plates we would use? Reusable Ikea plates / cutlery, etc. (you can see in the image to the left). After we used them, we’d stack them outside on their balcony - and they would wash them all to be saved when we left. Of course, it is MUCH more work - but it really makes a difference.

Note to my future American self: Stop with the single use plastic. seriously. it can be done.

 


SLOW SUNDAYS

In Germany, all stores are closed on Sunday. Clothing stores, pharmacies - even GROCERY STORES! I’ll admit, when we first moved here we thought it was crazy. “But, what do I do with the day? I have so many errands to run!” And of course, we had the occasional “I forgot to get X at the grocery store on Saturday, now we cant make this for dinner tonight”.

But then we learned to love and appreciate our Sundays. Bike rides to the park to read books, picnics, Facetiming with family in the afternoon. (and once Charlotte was older - lots of visits to the playground). Sunday became our day to slow down before the next week of work started.

Note to my future American self: Slow down on Sundays. Don’t spend your entire Sunday in the car running errands to then have to start the next week of work stressed and feeling like you never relaxed.

LÜFTEN (airing out a room)

In Bavaria, you’ll find that even in the dead of winter people will open up their windows every day for what they call “Lüften” or airing out a room. Sometimes you’ll even find it as a legally binding clause in rental agreements to protect against mold. They believe that regular ventilation of indoor spaces improves the quality of air in a home or workplace (it was common at the adidas HQ for your papers on your desk to be blown off because of a coworker swinging the window wide open).

And the past year in a global pandemic? It became almost mandatory.

During the summertime in Germany, Lüften took on a different strategy. You see, we don’t have air conditioning in our apartment (as most do not), and some days in the summer got up to 95 degrees! The strategy: Open ALL The windows in the morning while it was still cool, and by 11am when it would start to heat up, close the windows (and sometimes draw the curtains on an especially hot day) to keep the cool air in.

Note to my future American self: Open the windows in your home at least once a day! Even in the summer before we turn our air conditioning on.

 

WALKING / THE GREAT OUTDOORS

In the theme of ‘fresh air’ - one thing we’ve loved about our time in Nuremberg was the walkability of the city. After driving home on a Friday after work, it was common that we would park our car and not use it again until Monday morning.

Walking to the grocery store, our friends home, the weekend market, the playground, into the city to stop by Zara & H&M? All on our own two feet. (or on our bikes). From what I’ve been reading on other ‘Repatriation’ blogs is that they all feel ‘chained’ to their cars once they move back to the US. I know the use of our cars will increase when we move home, but I hope we still have some things within walking distance.

Note to my future American self: get outside and WALK wherever possible. Ride your bikes, enjoy the fresh air!

 

HOLIDAYS! (aka Vacations)

Last - but absolutely not least: vacations. VACATIONS!

Before I moved to Germany, I would get only 10 days vacation, and not even use them all! They would just go to waste. Am I crazy?! What was I thinking? Oh yes, I was feeling the guilt of not spending 100% of my time on my job.

In Germany? Taking time for yourself and your family is self care. It makes you a better worker, a better parent, a better friend. AND? You have amazing memories to look back on.

During these past 6 years, I’ve thought of our holidays as ‘bookmarks’ in our lives. The moments in my life I can clearly look back, remember amazing experiences and wonderful times spent with my family. I want to continue creating those ‘bookmarks’ for Charlotte.

Note to my future American self: I know you’re busy, I know you get caught up with work, I know you will feel guilty about taking a ‘long weekend’ (remember the days of taking 1 month off with no guilt? - do it. It is your life. Enjoy it!

 

I’m sure there are so many other things that i’m forgetting (because let’s be honest - its midnight only a few hours before the movers come - my mind is currently somewhere else). If you think of anything additional - write it in the comments below!

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