2020 - what a year, eh? A global pandemic is not easy on anyone, but it posed some interesting struggles on expat families.

Expat families typically have to rely on each other more than others - that is the nature of being an expat. You are an outsider navigating an unknown country so your spouse/family become even more important.

But this year of being in literal lockdown / quarantine in our tiny Nuremberg apartment definitely made us stronger (and crazier) as a family.

Here are some pros & cons of being an expat in Germany during a global pandemic.

Pros:

JOB SECURITY / WORK LIFE BALANCE

Despite having to work from home with a toddler from March - July 2020, we were never judged by our company / managers. Taking calls with a Charlotte yelling in the background, having to miss meetings due to a needy toddler - I never once worried about my job. That was a wonderful feeling despite the chaos - that in Germany, your job is very much secure.

THE GREAT OUTDOORS

Germany takes the need for fresh air very seriously. So when the pandemic first hit in Spring of 2020, that was one thing they did not take away from us - in fact - they promoted it. They know the importance of getting outside, exercise and fresh air for your mental and physical well being. And with a toddler and a small apartment?? We needed it for our sanity!

EXPAT FRIENDS WHO BECOME FAMILY

One wonderful factor about living in another country is you are automatically connected to fellow expats as you’re all in the same boat. And during the pandemic? That connection becomes even more important. To emotionally and mentally have people who are experiencing the same struggles as you? It was crucial for Andrew and I - but also crucial for Charlotte to have a best friend she could look forward to seeing every weekend. They became our stability during this chaotic year, and we will forever be connected through that.

Cons:

LOST IN TRANSLATION & STRICTER RULES

With the constant changing of rules and regulations (Germany does love their rules) - it was an added struggle to find the translations or ask your German coworker “… so we cannot drive 10km from our home?!”

Also - about these rules… there were a lot. And seem to be getting stricter by the month. Stores? Closed. Hotels? Closed. Ok, how about a remote airbnb in the mountains? Closed. Driving beyond 10km from your home? No. Over the wintertime we could not see more than ONE person in our home? So that expat family that we love so dearly? No.

And you know what - in Germany we’ve accepted to follow the rules no matter how ridiculous. And I had thought other Germans did as well… so why do the numbers keep going up??

NO FAMILY SUPPORT

Other coworkers who had families within Germany (or even in neighboring countries) heavily relied on their family during this time. Spending weeks at a time at the grandparents place so the kids could be given all of the love and attention they deserve while the parents are able to work. We did not have this option.

IT WAS ALL ON US

During this time Andrew and I were actually our most busy at work (sport/fitness saw a big boom during the pandemic). Two full time working parents plus a toddler at home? What could go wrong?? :)

This meant weekly planning of who would have Charlotte for the first half of the day while the other was in the glorious “bedroom/office” able to work in silence. (And then we’d switch for the second half of the day).

But just because you were not in the “bedroom/office” did not mean that you didn’t have to work to do. I’ve taken conference calls in varying locations this past spring: On walks, at the playground, while giving Charlotte a bath, while changing her diaper. This is when I became obsessive about checking if I was on mute to make sure I don’t say “don’t stick that piece of banana up your nose” on an 80 person conference call.

There was a lot of literal ‘passing’ Charlotte off to each other - and there were a lot of tears (from all of us), but we did it - and it made us stronger.

NO FAMILY IN GENERAL

This was the most difficult. Since becoming expats in 2015, what made it ‘ok’ was the thought that home was only a flight away. We typically visited family in the US about twice a year. Then the pandemic hit. 3 different trips we had planned home - all canceled. When we were planning our xmas trip home for 4 weeks in 2020, I said to Andrew “there is NO WAY that we are not going home, we need to see our family” - and yep! it was canceled.

Not seeing family for 15 months is tough enough - but with a toddler?? It’s heartbreaking. That is practically half of her life! She has grown so much, her personality has constantly changed and our family hasn’t experienced it.

But the toddler is also what makes the traveling home so complicated. International flights with a toddler is already a headache, but add COVID tests & a mandatory mask? This will be fun!

VERY SLOW ROLLOUT OF THE VACCINE

It feels as if we are very far behind in regards to speed of rolling out the vaccine to the public. I’m not sure of the specifics - but i’ve definitely heard that is a big frustration.

So that was my summary of some of the pros and cons of expat life as a family in Germany. What has been weighing on us most is the distance to family - which is one of the reasons why we decided to move back to the US in April of this year! We’re sad - we’re excited - we’re nervous - we’re feeling all the emotions!